face grate

A microfiber helmet designed to protect the wearer from neural surveillance, facial recognition algorithms, and retina scans. Even though these devices were ridiculed as a kind of stylish “tinfoil hat,” when they were made illegal, demand skyrocketed. Possession of a face grate entitles the possessor to a felony and an overnight stay at the local Homeland Security Hotel and Spa Friendly Conversation Center, where they no longer use invasive interrogation tactics.